To Lucius
by Soulasunder
Summary: Harry finally lets himself realize his feelings and begins to send anonymous letters to a certain Malfoy. He wants to see the man change, and helps him find a better life.


**[This is a request from vampygurl402 for top Lucius/bottom Harry secret admirer AU.]**

The first time that Draco had told him 'my father will hear about this' Harry admittedly was a little afraid. He was young and had learned all his life that adults had power over him. It seemed to him that this Lucius Malfoy would be as spoilt and rotten as his son and would try and make things very hard for him.

None of that happened though. And he wasn't so afraid. After all he remembered the way that Lucius had touched him in Flourish and Blotts. The way his touch had made his body flush… before he'd started mentioning Voldemort of course.

After that it was a big game of _look at me_. He purposefully did things that he thought would tick off Draco and didn't bother with keeping his thoughts to himself, always thinking in the back of his mind that maybe he'd get a visit from said Malfoy to discuss his behavior with his son. Scold him even. God why did Harry want to be scolded so badly by that man with the sharp gaze?

It continued like that for years, thoughts of Lucius Malfoy. Nothing he did could make Harry completely hate him. There was always something that he liked about the man. Something he wanted from him.

Harry only really admitted it to himself once he was older. When he was nineteen Draco had stopped being such a purist bastard. He met a girl that refused to raise the child that she was pregnant with as someone like they had been brought up as and Draco learned to be accepting, for his young wife and their unborn child.

That had Harry thinking about redemption and forgiveness.

And that was when the letters started. He bought an anonymous owl. He heard that Narcissa had divorced him. He wrote his first letter as anonymous as his owl. An owl he named Reverie. Because he would carry all his daydreams and wishes about what Lucius could be to the man. Hopefully replies as well.

_To Lucius,  
Are you ready to try a different view of life? Of the people around you? Living your life as you had, as a purist, as a Death Eater hasn't brought you anything that you wanted has it? You wanted power and connections and to stay in high standings. Now you're one of the most hated men in the wizarding world. Take a lesson from your son. See how he is growing and gaining connections in a positive manner? People trust him, someone loves him, and he is going to have a son I hear. I know you can love. You abandoned Voldemort to look for your son. You were worried about him. You love him. I know that you can be a better man. A man that people can love too. I think… I think I love you. You're beautiful and intelligent. If only you would change, and show that change to the world you can have something. I could give you standing again. You'll never have high power but can't you be happy with a fruitful job and someone who loves you?_

It took two weeks before his Reverie was returned. And Harry was near giddy to see that the bird carried a letter with him. Harry snatched it up and brought Reverie to the food and his perch. He plopped himself down in a chair and broke the Malfoy seal on the letter, just what he'd expected of the posh Malfoy.

_To whom ever it may concern,  
I am not so stupid as to think that continuing as I have will get me anything. As I have learned from my divorce and having my titles, most of my assets and such stripped away from me no one has any care for me. All attempts at employment have failed; I only have housing because my son and his wife are forgiving creatures. I'll have you know that people do love me. Two people it seems. I'll also have you know that I could be happy with a fruitful job and someone who loves me. Slowly it seems that my ideals have been changing. The kindest people, even angry at me as they are, have been half-bloods and … muggle born witches and wizards. Purebloods won't even look at me. _

_Lucius Malfoy._

That was… unexpected to hear. He didn't even call them Mudblood's any longer. That was _respectful_ language. Harry couldn't have been happier to already see some change in the man.

_To Lucius,  
I have respected some part of you since I was a child. I feel that anyone can be redeemed and anyone can have another chance. Even a third chance , and forgiveness. I know that you were a part of the Slug Club. You must be wonderful at potions. I have connections. With a bit of pleading you could have a job at Hogwarts. They're looking for a competent teacher. I need reassurances that you won't treat the children cruel because they aren't Slytherin. Your behavior can't be as it might naturally come. Children need nurturing and guidance. They don't need to be afraid of a man that's supposed to be teaching them how to better their skills. No child's boggart should be you, as the case had been with the last professor._

By that evening Harry was sending out the letter with Reverie again. He waited for an answer and this time it didn't take nearly as long as the first. He was all smiles at what he read.

_To my kind anonymous,  
To have employment of my own, housing of my own would be a rich thing. I could never thank you enough for the opportunity and I am bowing my head to you graciously now for the kindness and help that you are extending me. I will be the model teacher if you would give me this. No bias, no favoring of houses. Just teaching and starting my own independent life again. To stop leeching off of my son would be a tremendous thing. A child shouldn't have to care for his father like this when his father is still able bodied and minded. _

_Lucius Malfoy_

So Harry started sending his letters to Minerva and to the Hogwarts Governor's. It took a bit of pleading and reasoning and dare say it, a donation, but it worked. Lucius Malfoy was the new Potions teacher at Hogwarts. Harry was proud. He left the man to himself for the first two weeks of his new career and learned that while the children had been afraid of him at first they were warming up and Lucius was even seen being _kind_. They had thought that because he was a former Death Eater that he would have the same attitude as Snape had had towards students and teaching. When Harry heard that there still were no complaints against him he sent another letter.

_To Lucius,_

_You've done very well for yourself. I'm so happy and proud to hear of how you're doing with the students. Not one complaint, not one child lettering home to say how awful their Potions teacher was. Are you adjusting well? No trouble? I'd love to see you teaching those kids. I'm sure you do a spectacular job._

Three days later Reverie was back and with a long letter from Lucius.

_To anonymous,  
It's quite easy to teach a child. You make it a little interesting and have patience and they eat the knowledge right up. Children usually want to learn if not forced and berated. I did raise a child after all. I know some tricks. I am adjusting well, eating well, earning my keep. The chambers that they've given me are far more than I expected for myself. The other professors still keep a distant relationship with me, but in time I hope that I prove myself to them. That I won't be stared at or whispered about in conversation. _

_My son seems to be proud to have me as a father again. I think he's happy to have his wife happy that I'm gone. She is still not forgiving me for my part I played in the war. Even if I did defect from Voldemort. We're amiable though. In time perhaps I'll change her mind about me. After all she changed her views and bettered herself from how she'd been raised as the Pureblood that she is. I'm going to be a grandfather that doesn't share past bigoted views on class and purity of the blood. Blood is not everything I've learned. There have been better men than me that are not pure of blood. _

_I have a question for you. My secret admirer, you said you think you loved me. Any man or woman willing to do this much for me must care. If I could I'd like to meet you. Have dinner perhaps. I'd like the company. I'd like the conversation with someone that doesn't hate me and isn't a young student. I can't promise that I will return your affection, but I can be a friend. You would be my first in a long while. _

_Please come to Hogwarts next Friday around dinner. I will wait at the gates to let you in and take you to my chambers where dinner will wait at the table. _

_Lucius Malfoy._

Harry was a little frozen. Meet him? Reveal his identity? It was a little scary to think of. This was what his goal was though, wasn't it? Nudge Lucius in the right direction for redemption and open his mind. Though Harry didn't solely do those things they were happening and it sounded… like Lucius would keep an open mind about giving him affection. He didn't say that he wouldn't return the love that Harry felt. Just that he couldn't promise that he would.

He didn't write back. He wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure if he would go. What if Lucius saw him and then turned him away? Harry after all had been a big part of destroying all the plots that Lucius had to raise to power with the Dark Lord.

Though come Friday very close to the appointed time he was fretting about what to wear. He'd settled on nice slacks and shoes and a button down and vest. Not very formal, but he still felt sharply dressed. Harry even tried to tame his wild locks. It didn't really work but at least he felt more impressive.

He apparated outside of the gate just as Lucius was opening it. The man's eyes settled on him and nodded. "Potter. Do you have some business here with Minerva, or perhaps that Longbottom boy, the Herbology teacher." Lucius didn't seem to realize that Harry was there for him.

"No…" He said slowly clearing his throat. "Lucius… it's me, your anonymous writer." Harry admitted. Lucius' mouth opened a little and he was quiet for a moment before he let a soft smile on his lips.

"I never thought that you would be in love with me. I did so many things after all. Terrible things." Lucius smoothed out his robes and stood taller taking in a breath. "Thank you… Harry. You're forgiving of me is greatly appreciated, and your help in getting me this position can never be thanked enough. My life is starting again. And, dinner is going to get cold." Harry let out a breath.

He wasn't being turned away. He was being invited to dinner still. Harry closed his eyes for a moment and felt flushed with relief. Then he hurried the distance to Lucius so he wouldn't have to keep holding open the gate.

"I am. In love with you that is. I have just been drawn to you, even at times when I thought I might hate you. I don't though. I don't hate you obviously. I'm glad to see you changing." Lucius nodded and quietly lead him the way to his chambers. Harry was let into a warm room and then another with a table that had plenty of food on it.

Lucius pulled out a chair and Harry sat. The man really did have manners. Harry pulled a napkin into his lap and began to make his plate. Lucius broke the silence first.

"You look well put together. Enjoying the Auror life?" Harry flushed at the compliment. His heart fluttered a little. Harry nodded and picked up his fork to busy his hands.

"Yes. It pays well, I'm good at it. I'm not given any big cases yet. Seniority and all that, but they've begun to let me run point instead of following their lead." He was quite proud of that. All the other new hirers were still doing the paper pushing, report filing, errand running. Yet here Harry was running point on small cases. Not that he was bragging about it, but he could still feel good about it.

Lucius smiled. "That very impressive for a boy so young, I'm sure that you'll move up quickly and gain your own seniority. "

They went like that through dinner, sharing and talking easily. Even as a first year looking at Lucius as he did he never thought that they'd end up like this. Harry knew that Lucius was one of the bad ones then. Now though Lucius was a man that had made mistakes and was changing.

Eventually they ended up on the sofa having glasses of drink after dinner talking about Lucius' classes and the incidents that have happened so far. They were laughing together after their third drinks about a girl mixing the ingredients in her potion wrong and turning her skin from a lovely brown to bright pink. She was still a little spotted. Harry as the calmed down found that he'd been steadily leaning closer to Lucius and then his lips were on the elder males.

When Lucius didn't respond right away Harry pulled back looking down into his lap. "I'm sorry. Truly. I won't do it again…" He was cut off in his apologies by hands that cupped his face making him look at Lucius again.

"It's alright." The man said and then their lips were together again. Harry just melted into the kiss. Lucius was so good at taking control. His hands were steady as Harry's shook lightly. His head felt like it was spinning. Like the teen he was he was already painfully hard in his slacks. Completely aroused by this mans kiss.

For the first time he was kissing a man. For the first time a man was gentling him down onto his back on the sofa and putting his hands on his belly.

"Tell me to stop." Harry was the same age as his son. Lucius was so much older, perhaps this wasn't appropriate. He was trying to be a new man after all. Though Harry shook his head. "I want this."

They were stripped and kissing madly on Lucius' bed. Their cocks were rocking against each other and Harry was moaning wantonly. His cock was leaking and he kept thinking how he just wanted more, and more.

Lucius' fingers found their way between them, and against Harry's entrance. A gasp escaped him and he moaned his approval as Lucius showed a bit of wandless, silent magic with a lubrication spell. The man's fingers were in him hitting his prostate as Harry was stretched.

"Please Lucius! Please!" The boy begged spreading his legs wider. Lucius lifted his head where he'd sucked an angry mark against Harry's neck.

"Yes. I'll give you what you want." He assured gently running his hand over Harry's side. Then he was shifting placing himself firmly on his knees and pulling Harry closer.

His cock went to the boys wet entrance and then he was pushing in, Harry let out a pleasured cry his toes curing and cock leaking. A moan pulled from Lucius as well as he was enveloped in hot tight wetness. When Harry nodded Lucius moved, fucking into him with pleasure.

Harry pulled him down into another kiss as Lucius took his arse for the first time in Harry's life. There was a steady burn, but it was so _good_ that Harry didn't care that he would be sore later.

They were rough and then gentle, changing positions, and sometimes laughing as someone slipped or their teeth clashed in a fevered kiss, it was Harry's fault. It was hot and sweet, a mess of sweaty flesh and pleasure taken.

Lucius exhausted the boy. Harry came twice before Lucius finally thrust into Harry for the last time filling him full of his come. Harry collapsed onto the mattress calming down from his orgasmic bliss. Lucius pulled from him and settled besides him, his arm going around the boy even if it was very warm. Harry pressed a soft kiss to Lucius' shoulder and let out a happy sigh.

"That was wonderful." He smiled. Lucius answered with a kiss to Harry's lips. They fell asleep together and Harry knew that this wasn't a onetime thing. It had been a whim of Lucius' to kiss him again, and maybe lust that pulled them into bed but Harry had a very good feeling. Lucius was curled against him when he woke, they'd stayed like that all night.

He was sure there would be plenty more dinners and nights like this.


End file.
